It's all about Clay

The morning he left...BIG SMILE
 

Praise: It's been 17 days since Clayton's move and so far nothing but good reports.  I'm told he is cheerful and very talkative (surprise surprise).  When I talk to him on the phone Clayton sounds very happy and in good spirits. At first he was really making an effort to initiate conversation with me and stay on the phone a little longer by talking about and asking about everyone he knows. :)  But, recently, it  sounds as if I'm "bugging him."  I guess that's a good thing.......right?  :)

Prayer: Please pray that Clayton adjusts to his new home. At the end of 30 days we will discuss if this is the right fit for Clayton and sign the "official" contract/paperwork.  According to the director, no one has ever been declined/rejected. But, it's still a waiting period which means it isn't settle at this point.

There's a total of 6 young adults living there. Clayton has a bathroom in his bedroom -approx. 5 feet away from his bed which is great for him. One roommate who is wheelchair bound so he won't be in Clayton's personal space which is good since Clayton sometimes get annoyed if people are too close to him. There is a staff of about 6 caregivers with various schedules. Clayton has a male caregiver who comes every  morning to get him dressed and ready for school. At his new home, Clayton has the option to participate in activities or not, depending upon how he feels and what he wants. This is awesome. Since, at home with us-he doesn't have a choice but to do whatever it is we're doing. Clayton is doing things like walking 1/2 miles (one way)  to McDonalds which is awesome since we can barely get him to walk across the street. He is also helping around the house by setting the dinner table.  I pray this move will give Clayton a new sense of independence and much opportunity for growth. And more than anything it is my desire to increase his quality of life.

I'm thankful for God's faithfulness to our family!  I really believe this is all part of God's plan for Clayton. I feel like I'm in constant prayer....I suppose thats the way I'm suppose to live..in constant prayer. This was a tough decision, one that took about 2 years of prayer and the support and agreement by all....My Dad, Gail, Val, Calida, Elliot & Glen.  I wouldn't have been able to make this decision without the love & support from my husband, Elli. 

 

PS. As for me, I'm missing my boy.  Letting him go has been the most difficult thing for me to do. I go through phases of being sad, happy for him, relief for me--and guilty about the relief.  I'm pretty much not able to really convey the mixed emotions that I'm feeling. However, I  have no doubt we made the right decision for Clayton. It is strongly suggested that we do not visit for 30 days, I'm hoping to make it. But, I'm not sure I can do it.

Ani's Little TRICK

I took Anika to have her 3 year portrait.  She looked absolutely adorable in her little red dress! She really seemed to like the photographer and when he asked her if she could do a trick......

she did the splits! 

Look at her face.... SEE, SEE MY TRICK?

I love this picture! It puts a big smile on my face when I see my baby doing her TRICK!

Our 5th Wedding Anniversary...feels like 5 minutes...

...UNDER WATER!  Ha! ha!  We both just love that joke (got it from a friend at church).  December 31st, 2007 was our 5th Wedding Anniversary.

When I think back to the last five years, I can't help from thinking of our first year of marriage. Like most couples (I think), during the engagement period all you can think about is when you are finally married and together. No more having to go to your own home after dinner.  No more lugging stuff from one house to another.  No more having to say goodbye when you want to stay.  

Our first year of marriage was by far the most difficult year of our relationship.  After a wonderful honeymoon in St. John then Hawaii...it was back to reality. That's when everything really changed.  Not the love for him, but the idea of what our married life would be like. Bringing my stuff over to his already organized and decorated home was hard. There wasn't any room for me. Not that I had much stuff or had any desire to decorate any particular way, it was just that I had no MY PLACE for MY STUFF.  Oh, and let's just touch on the subject of finances. What? Yes, I took out cash from the ATM. What? I don't know what I spent it on! Stuff.  I bought stuff.  Of course, I took the defensive position every time until I figured out that my fiance-husband keeps track of every dime spent for end of year tax purposes and wonderfully specific pie-charts. And I believe for the simple satisfaction of knowing where money had been spent. I actually got a kick out of his pie charts that actually showed where our money went, but at the time I wasn't a happy camper. I know there were times when he thought "What did I get myself into", it's not easy when a single guy becomes a step-dad overnight. But, we both can look back now and agree that the first year was definitely a time of transition and adjustment for the both of us. 

Since then, I've had the wonderful opportunity to see God working in his life. He's become an awesome spiritual leader for our family, in our church, our family protector and for me often showing and giving me the grace that I need in our relationship.  One of the greatest gifts I've observed - is the change that has occurred since the birth of our baby Anika.  His eyes light up, tear up and speak to me in ways that I have never seen.  I'm lost for words to describe what I continue to observe.  Thank you Lord for blessing us with Anika. 

It's been quite a bit of give and take over the past 5 years.  I have more space for MY STUFF....we have a lavendar bedroom (for me) free from man-stuff (like the rest of the house).  We have pretty candle holders and lots of bare wall space-just because that's the way I like it. The rest of the house, well, we've made some changes but, it's still mostly decorated with souvenirs from his travels. And due to his finance savvy-ness (is that a word?) we are able to live comfortably on one income even after taking a cut in pay to work for the church.  Yes, we are living on one income in Silicon Valley.  I have the luxury (and I do mean luxury) of staying home with Anika.  

So, I think we would both agree that the first year of marriage definitely felt like being UNDER WATER. The other 4 years for me have been a time for growth, excitement, and a deeper love for the man I married.  Always by his side, to trust, to support and follow God's calling upon us. I look forward to the future and what is brings, but most importantly...give all my praise and thanks to God.  For without him, we wouldn't have come up out of the water.

The one who wears the little rubber bands.....

Little Rubber Bands...

... I see them all over my house. In the bathroom, in the garage, and even in my bedroom.  Little tiny rubber bands sprinkled throughout my house. Every time I see them, I think of my little girl. What a blessing she has been to me. Who (not me) would have thought that I would have another baby at ...uhhh....43? Uh. Yeah, not me. And now, here I am 45 years old with a 25 year old daughter (my precious Calida) and an 18 year old ( my special Clayton)....and now, ...my little baby girl (Anika). Yes, I would have to say that God has blessed my tremendously!! So, with that-everytime, I vaccum...I sweep....everytime I come across a little rubber band...I am reminded of my daughter...not that I can forget her! She's livened up our home....but, the rubber bands,...yeah,..cute. Thank you LORD.

Sweet Evening....

Today turned out to be very nice. Even though Elliot (my husband) was at the Giants game tonite (Bonds last home game as a Giant-I'm told), it turned out to be a very nice evening. Clayton went with his Dad tonite, so it was Anika & Me. We had Calida (my oldest daughter-25), Jesse (my son in law) and the girls (Luna & Athena-twin granddaughters) over for dinner. I didn't make TACOS this time..but, we had a nice pasta dinner. It was just plain nice-had a nice dinner. Then just sat and talked. After Calida & Jesse started homework with the girls. They take turns with each daughter while the other reads. SO, Anika had a great time going between her big sister Calida & Jesse...listening to them read. I could her the chatter as I was cleaning the dinner dishes in the kitchen. It was like music to my ears. No chaos....no drama..just sweet music to my ears. Reading, laughing and playing ......it was awesome. It was one of those ...THANK YOU LORD moments. Moments like this that I really need to thank the LORD for blessing me with a lovely family. It would have been even better if Elli was here. But, I'm sure he's having a blast with Dad at the game.

They're all gone....Anika is here with me. Time for bed...for her and for me. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Yeah, it's not even 8 p.m.

Very Special Clayton

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Today was a sad day for me. Clayton tried to hurt his teacher today and I had to pick him up. You'd think after all these years -I wouldn't take these "incidents" so hard. But, even after all these years...it's still difficult for me. Clayton is an 18 year old kid...he's blind and mentally challenged (aka. retarded). He was doing so good this year (so far). Then, within 2 weeks-Two outbursts. Yeah, he tried to hurt his teacher. Grab him....or something to that affect. I'm thankful that Mike (teacher) and the principal seem to be very set on trying to help Clayton succeed in this new program (post H.S). But, I'm still concerned. I know that God has always taken care of Clayton and his needs. I know that it's in God's hands. I do my part...beleive me. But, there is only so much I can do from home...when the incidents occur at school. They're trying to come up with a motivational / behaviorial plan for Clayton. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get him on track. While the med's have made a tremendous change in his behavior...a tremendous help with his anxiety issues...now, Clayton needs to work on his behavior himself. He needs to control himself and act appropriately. Yeah, easier said then done.

So, how much does Clayton really undertand??? Well, he can't remember what he had for lunch. He can't tell me what he did at school. Then there are times when he can hear music and tell me who is singing...The Doors, Nirvana, etc. and there are times when he'll sing a phrase before we can even tell what song is on...."Welcome to the jungle, baby" he'll blurt out.
The truth is.,..that Clayton comprehension level is unable to be measured. His communication level is very low.

The other day, I was listening to Clayton play in the room with Anika (his 2 year old sister). They were both laughing....playing in the toy box....cracking up. My heart was feeling very overjoyed by this scenen. I poked in the room and there they were...just playing. Little Anika was laying on the floor with her little feet on her big brother...her big 175 lbs brother. Anika was tickling Clayton with her feet....he had a huge smile on his face, head down as usual and this funny almost hysterical laugh....on and on. I enjoyed this nice little scene and thank God for this blessing. Then it hit me...I was watching Anika ..a two year old and Clayton ...a four year old in a 18 year old body. What a revelation.